Congratulations…. you’re pregnant! What joy these words unfold, only the expectant parents can tell. But coming to terms with it may be a bit difficult for the soon-to-become daddy. The initial signs are that the father may tend to withdraw himself from you firstly grappling with the excitement in the air then all the attention focused on you by others and finally the physical changes brought on by pregnancy which leave him alternately horrified and fascinated.

As you start to focus inward to your unborn baby your other baby may start anticipating that you’ll be giving him a cold shoulder for the rest of the time. Now you’re in a fix. You’re already on a round-the-clock alert to the changes occurring in your body. Handling the pregnancy really well is no easy a task. Already many questions are flooding your mind, whether you’d carry the baby to full term? Whether the child will be healthy or not? Will you be able to survive the labor marathon?

You don’t know exactly what to do when you’re handling two babies at a time, the unborn child and the father. Out of the two, the father may be hard to handle. Leave the poor soul alone. Give him space to understand and experience pregnancy in his own unique way.

There are legitimate reasons why these older babies are hard to handle during pregnancy:

• You and your partner’s experiences are different. You might feel your partner is too detached from your pregnancy and is not as involved as you are. Understand that since your body is undergoing changes you are also experiencing rousing and overwhelming emotions. Your partner’s half job was to supply the sperm. He’s no longer a part of the pregnancy now except that he supports you through the term. Since he feels more left out now, try getting him involved talking things. Surprise him with a picnic or leave him a sexy note in the drawer. Dress up sexy till the baby in your belly starts to become more visible. The bulge does not start to show until after the sixth month.

• Your partner worries even if he doesn’t tell you. Know what worries him? How to be a father figure! He has no clue especially when the baby is the very first. They may feel apprehensive about it. He wants to be a good father and needs your reassurance. You may feel that it takes more energy than you have to focus on both your partner and your baby. But you need to kick start your life as a family some day, so it’s good that you start training already. Your partner may be worried about expected pressures on him as a breadwinner. Reassure him that both of you would solve the problems together.

• Your partner needs time to bond with the baby. He can touch your belly and talk and sing to the baby. Usually partners keep a good track knowing which week of pregnancy you’re in. This way they know exactly what week the baby starts to show signs of movement. He can experience the first kicks in random places too.

Once you focus your love and attention on each other you can focus it on your baby too. Plan a “home date” this week and see the difference.